You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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