she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
