Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
