we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I will be naked everywhere
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
