For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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