Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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