wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
