and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
