I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
