sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
