We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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