Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
only you would photoshop your dick
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
