Are we in a gay sports bar?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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