He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
