new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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