Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
