I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
