So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
