You just made me feel so damn special
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
