I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
