in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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