he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
