I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
