I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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