Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I booty called her while she was in labor.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
