do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
