shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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