I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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