I think my vagina is haunted
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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