I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize