Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
