thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
