you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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