yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We have started to decorate penises.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
