Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
