Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
