This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
