Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
