You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
