Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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