I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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