I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
