2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
