And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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