He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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