I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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