Can Purell be used as lube?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
