this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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