Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
