She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
