I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
