when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
