Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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