The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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