So drunk its hurt
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
