I'm going to jail i love you
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
