it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
