I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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