Your face is a jimmy john
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
