batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
