I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
