She said her name was "party"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
