bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
