That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize