Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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