Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
