Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
