I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
