Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
