i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
