end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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