We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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