how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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